“Art clears the dust on the perception.” I saw this statement at the door of an art gallery last night while touring the city. I did not understand what it meant at first. I clean my house every day because I have a cat and a dog and I teach yoga every day. Today, it is a complete cleaning as a change, and when I did it, I saw small dust particles behind the books. The statement was clear.
Cleaning is not just cleaning my body and its visible areas. To clean itself, is to reveal the dust particles in me. What I have, those from my family, those I reject, what I want to ignore, my despair, my neediness. I need every grain of dust. I could not define myself the way the people sees in me, maybe because of these insignificant dust particles.
Cleaning is done by movement, by exchange. It is done with compassion and care. Iyengar has created a lot of support materials so that we can hold ourselves up. Thanks to him it is possible to support in a safe way the body in order to reach those tiny dust particles without greed, without destroying the body. Those materials were developed and more supporters came out, while I was making asanas that helped to discover areas, be painless, without fraying, without the question of why, without competition or anger or feeling of need. Just like the introduction of household appliances, supporting devices such as dishwashers and washing machines into our lives.
As we get to know ourselves, we can identify ourselves in “Pleine Conscience”. When mindfully we realise these new parts of ourselves, a new sight come to light and we set out to new worlds to support ourselves again.
My body stiffened as I was not doing asanas, becquse at first I did not want to use auxiliary materials and still tried to be young, dynamic and flexible. Now doing the Asanas with all kinds of supports, my self-compassion increases. I get support from all kinds of auxiliary materials that I have received on the way of learning and teaching asanas with great pleasure. Asking questions taught by my wonderful Psychologist Özge Orbay, help me to see and recognize the dust particles in which I hide myself and gradually feel and understand what they have brought to me. When my foot stumbles, I learn to understand my own.
Sometimes “I am 55 years old, how long do I live, what kind of mother I am still at this age, I am still dealing with these at this age, I am not grown up so how could I help my children” all theses thoughts are coming in to my mind. Instead of ignoring them , I take care of them and love my fears, my embarrassments in order to separate their dust one by one and reveal the shine behind and within them.
And again I discover the light of a new day in myself. Despite all this internal work, I could not take the exam I took to become a counsellor psychologist. I had to remember myself that the books and the presence in the school are like the supports of asanas. Admitting that they are helpful to progress on this path reminded me that I should not neglect the book knowledge and the support of the school. I intend to succeed in the next test.